we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
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tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
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she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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