I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
