ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I want to fling myself into the sun
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
