at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
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She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
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Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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