I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
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it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
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I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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