i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
