It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
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I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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