erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
