I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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