Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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