Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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