We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
