So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
