Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Dignity is for republicans.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We had sex on a dog bed..
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
