i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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