She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
