That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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