First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
So many bounce houses so little time
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
