you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
