areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
