wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
