She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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