My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
