Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
