I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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