I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
