tell your sister to shave her snatch
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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