Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Will you blow on my dice?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
