I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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