I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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