Cold hands, warm shart.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
