Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
