So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize