Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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