She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
My dad is sitting where you rode me
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
