absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
