So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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