your thong is hanging out like whoa
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
