Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
