im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
