A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
