I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I got inside last night via doggy door
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