So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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