Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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