I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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