I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
