Sponge bath it is.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
