why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
