On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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