Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You are the jesus of drinking
I am naked and annoyed.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
