I don't think brook has ever known best
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
