and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
