I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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