If i come over, it means nothing
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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