it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
