Texts From Last Night

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  (921): View more from

  found out what b.m.t stands for.

  (1-921): View more from

  what did you think?

  (921): View more from

  bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.

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  (921): found out what b.m.t stands for. (1-921): what did you think? (921): bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub. http://tfl.nu/4p7g
  Replies (27) Good night (902) Bad night (495)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night

  (631): View more from New York

  U should. Its a good ice breaker

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  (740): Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night (631): U should. Its a good ice breaker http://tfl.nu/6sdf
  Replies (10) Good night (3644) Bad night (701)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.

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  (952): True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you. http://tfl.nu/3inq
  Replies (35) Good night (1464) Bad night (3313)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.

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  (586): You do realize it's a Tuesday, right? (1-586): You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life. http://tfl.nu/em8w
  Replies (22) Good night (7926) Bad night (767)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building

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  (540): i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building http://tfl.nu/8nc8
  Replies (22) Good night (6106) Bad night (1030)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.

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  (806): I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister. http://tfl.nu/4jvf
  Replies (15) Good night (4414) Bad night (970)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Are my feet made of real feet?

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  (740): Are my feet made of real feet? http://tfl.nu/dext
  Replies (17) Good night (5773) Bad night (1036)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.

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  (620): He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening. http://tfl.nu/b9i7
  Replies (16) Good night (4050) Bad night (843)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car

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  (250): Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car http://tfl.nu/u2fj
  Replies (3) Good night (2236) Bad night (525)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.

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  (414): i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down. http://tfl.nu/jxq4
  Replies (9) Good night (1154) Bad night (721)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.

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  (989): I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon. http://tfl.nu/2nq9
  Replies (13) Good night (1391) Bad night (481)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.

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  (704): Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom. (615): My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you. http://tfl.nu/pnfc
  Replies (3) Good night (849) Bad night (321)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.

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  (712): You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home. http://tfl.nu/2ggi
  Replies (2) Good night (902) Bad night (341)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat

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  (617): I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat http://tfl.nu/ph0q
  Replies (5) Good night (546) Bad night (292)
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  (510): View more from California

  Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?

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  (510): Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you? http://tfl.nu/34q2
  Replies (4) Good night (432) Bad night (684)

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