i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i want to fuck
it's pretty self explanatory
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
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just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
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Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight