I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
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You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
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