Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.

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Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Read it at the TFLN blog
(413): View more from Massachusetts

then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.

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(661): View more from California

It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.

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(224): View more from Illinois

you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney

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(541): View more from Oregon

well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick

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(989): View more from Michigan

So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.

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