So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.