Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
