I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
