He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
His nipple licking is glorious
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