he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
