How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
As shirtless as possible
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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