Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
