Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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