I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
