he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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